Breaking Chains

Thoughts are powerful. I have heard they can bring life as well as death. I struggle with negative thoughts like does God really love me? My thoughts tell me God is mean to make me non-verbal, or I will never live a normal life like everyone else. Doubts turn to fears and anxiety. Past hurts and failures turn to anger and depression. Negative thoughts bombard me when I am alone or not stimulated enough. I quickly get into a cycle of negativity that I can’t escape unless I disassociate from my body to not feel the overwhelming emotional pain. It results in deeper anguish as I destroy the things and people I love the most. Why can’t I stop? Why do I ruminate on the hurt of being treated badly?

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